Lit 4003 – Creative Writing
Dr. Angel Piserla
Coherence and Correspondence in Villaflores’s “Mind Flight”
The poem “Mind Flight” by Villaflores dramatizes the conflict between youthful freedom and duty. The conflict relates to the dreamy and restless behaviour of the subject, a female young adult who seems to have just been initiated to the unfavourable conditions of the real industrial setup as part of the harsh reality that dictates the need to act in accordance to practicality as a necessity for survival.
Although of unspecified identity, the speaker clearly takes a third person dramatic personae recounting the subject’s restiveness, the inability to “keep still” and fasten her mind and senses where they should be for the time being. The idea of restraint is overtly emphasised in lines such as the following.
She drifts on hungry feet
ascending from the streets;
feebly fading into flight,
she saves her face in shady lines.
I try, how much I try to
hush
her. . . .
The speaker — possibly a personified inanimate object, a metaphorical tool, a “straightjacket” that claims the responsibility to deter the subject from impractical flights — recounts the young woman’s struggle to stay focused and fulfil her duties only to be carried away by a serious case of chronic daydreaming. The speaker then concludes each verse with a statement describing the need to save the idealistic character from being taken over by the urge to break free from the stipulations that her duties entail. The first verse, for example, closes with,
I try, how much I try to
hush
her. . . .
Finally, the speaker conveys the subject’s side of the story, expressing that the character justifies her untimely aversions to be mere cases of “eureka,” overwhelming discoveries, which is contained in the “enigma,” the indescribable paradox, of life. The speaker, however, refutes the woman’s view by concluding that she is merely, disenchanted, as though an eager, yet crestfallen little bird.
The whimsical tone of “Mind Flight” brings into view the wistfulness of the subject, the young woman held down by conventions and industrial responsibilities, struggling to flee from the surrounding circumstances.
To connote the strong yearning for freedom, words associated with the absence of restrictions are used; e.g., drifts, flight, bursts, loving, losing, beach, etc. Borders, however, are set and the persisting presence of the elements of restraint is emphasised by the usage of hush, still, bound, and others. Furthermore, one can note the dominant usage of basic vocabulary, accentuating how the speaker views the character as juvenile, childlike, and wistful. The technique also brings to light the currentness of the conflict, considering the everyday language generally used in the modern times.
The third person pronouns she and her are used when referring to the subject. Immediately in the first line of the poem, one can recognize the speaker’s reference to a female subject. Additionally, the first two juxtaposing septets both contain two complete sentences, each of which expounded with coordinating and modifying punctuations such as the comma, semi colon, and dash. The speaker uses a series of declarative sentences narrating action as it happens, which is supported by the usage of the present tense. In the poem, the speaker recounts descriptively about an occurring event as both observer and participant, considering that it claims partial responsibility for keeping her in place.
“Mind Flight” employs a free verse technique, where a variety of rhyme schemes and patterns are combined to form a distinct structure. The first two stanzas in the poem are parallel in terms of rhetorical pattern. The lines take the iambic foot, and although no consistent meter is applied whole throughout, one can notice, by verbal resonance and visual form, the juxtaposition in the two parallel septets.
She drifts on hungry feet
ascending from the streets;
feebly fading into flight,
she saves her face in shady lines.
I try, how much I try to
hush
her. . . .
She bursts again in dreamy speech—
like losing and loving by the beach,
keeping the night stars wide awake,
leaving the tent ajar to wait.
I should keep her still just
for
now. . . .
The pattern shifts on the third verse, and while the iambs are retained in most parts, the lines are cut shorter into staccatos.
Here comes the storm.
In such disdain,
she closes up
and writes in vain;
she joins the rain. . . .
The sudden shift in meter exemplifies the element of restraint and climactically dramatizes the character’s plight. Notice how the thought pattern and the mood divert from whimsical to empathetically emotional.
Although the poet utilises no steady rhyme scheme, the resonance in the end words (e.g., feet-streets, flight-lines); the use of alliterations (e.g., “feebly fading into flight. . . .”); and assonances (e.g., “she saves her face on shady lines. . . .”) augment sound effect. Hence, the sound significantly supports or enhances the tone.
The title of the work is imagery in itself. Here, the mind, which is an intangible element, takes a gravitational advantage of being able to fly – as a metaphor referring to daydreaming or the absence of focus. The feet also feel pangs of hunger, which represents the sentiment of being deprived from freely sauntering or strolling in the streets or other places for this matter. The use of “storm” exemplifies how the constraining elements are necessitating the subject to submit and go with the industrial current by fulfilling demands as she “closes up;” that is, to give up her capricious ideals. Joining the “rain,” in the poem, depicts that the character is at last deciding to stay put in the here-and-now and to stop fighting the flow.
“Mind Flight,” qualifies as an experimental free verse that strikes the balance between coherence and correspondence. Its combinations of patterns, the rich presence of imagery, and the strategic usage of end-stop and run-on lines provide the dramatic harmony and exemplify the speaker’s attitude towards the character and towards the conflict.
